Everlasting Love (TFIOS)
by MentallyIndecisive
Summary: This is an assignment I had to do for my honors class. It is in Hazel's point-of-view and takes place after the last chapter in the book, as my own epilogue. I got an A on this so I hope it's worthy of your time. Enjoy! This is old as well, so I apologize for the amateur style.


There is a saying in this world. "There's nothing to fear but fear itself." As inspirational as that may be, it cannot be more incorrect. The fear of dying is not worse than dying itself. So we shouldn't fear death? Of course, no one wants someone else to fear death but that doesn't mean we shouldn't. No one wants to be afraid of lions or deep water, but we are. Why? It's dangerous and it can destroy you. So there is more to fear than just fear after all.

Terminal thyroid cancer. That's something to fear. Well that's what I have, and that's what I'm dying from. The fluid is slowly filling my lungs; every minute I'm closer to death. To obliteration. To Augustus. My mother's support got me through the last two years.

"Come on, what would Augustus say if he saw you couldn't make it up the stairs?" Yes. That was her support. It always worked.

Though gradually, it became more of a challenge to do something as simple as climbing those stairs. Six flights slowly became three. Three became two. Two became one. Then it was the elevator. That's when I knew I was going to blow. The sad part being that I was no longer a grenade, I was a volcano. My amount of damage was more vast than it had started out. Not only would I hurt my parents, I'd hurt many more people. Kaitlyn, Patrick, Lidewij, Mr and Mrs. Waters, and that nice nurse that I got to know. Not that I know her name but I know we got along. This was an issue, my volcanic eruption was not too far from coming, and my target is enormous. More vast, and more painful. I may have been dormant for a while but now, I'm ready to explode.

I am slowly drowning in my own cancer. The tube was connected to my chest and led to somewhere I didn't want to look. The dark liquid dripped into the tube and out of me, but it wasn't fast enough. I wheezed as a small machine pumped air into my lungs. Almost like a mechanical tree, spreading air to those who need it. It wasn't enough.

My mom walked in suddenly, the door quickly closing behind her but slow enough that I could hear the sobbing of my father for a brief moment. She looked at me and I looked back. She smiled and I smiled. It seemed as if I was mocking her, though that's all I could think to do.

"Dad said he loves you." She said suddenly as she sat beside me. I knew what she was trying to say.

"He's not going to say bye before I die, is he?" I spoke with gasps in between every two words, my struggle to breathe becoming a much harder task. She was silent before grabbing my hand softly.

"I love you, he loves you, we both love you Hazel." She kissed my hand softly.

"You'll be okay? Not being a mom anymore?" I asked, my eyes growing heavy and my lungs filling faster. She smiled softly.

"I'll still be a mom Hazel, as long as I love you I'll be your mom. And I'll never stop loving you." I nodded and she sighed, hugging me. She felt warm so I hugged back, getting as much warmth from her as I could. I know I'll soon be cold.

"I love you mom." I thought for a moment. "Hey mom, one last thing?" Hazel stared wide eyes at her mother.

"Yes Hazel, what is it?" She grabbed my arm softly. I chuckled.

"When you visit my grave, can you give me the results for America's Next Top Model?"

**...**

"Hazel? Hazel Grace?" I opened my eyes to see Isaac, blind of course but bent over and staring at my face as if he could see it. We were so close, I could have kissed him. I gave a small chuckle, pushing his face back with the little strength I possessed.

"Hey Isaac, having fun staring at my face?" I was happy to see him, though surprised. I sat up slightly, noticing my mother had gone.

"Yes, it's quite beautiful, at least that's how I pictured it. Last time I was able to see you, you were pretty cute." He smiled slyly and I rolled my eyes. I was about to reply with my horribly timed humor when he spoke. "Are you grateful?" I tilted my head and gave an irritated look, though he couldn't see it.

"Grateful that I'm dying? No, I'm not." He laughed which made me more confused. I stared at him until he stopped laughing and cleared his throat.

"No, I meant are you grateful you're getting another chance at forever? You know, with Gus? It seems that your days were numbered but now the clock gets to reset." His horrid attempt and making my words sound better failed. I smiled anyways.

"Yes, being back with Augustus Waters is like a dream and for that I am grateful." My voice had sounded weaker and I'm sure he had noticed, seeing him frown helped me confirm this. "Hey Isaac, thanks for everything." For the first time, I had come to the conclusion that maybe people might not want to remember me as the girl who joked on her deathbed. Isaac smiled and hugged me, I hugged back.

"See you around Hazel, Support Group Hazel.."

**...**

I had asked to be alone for a while, just to rest. That was a lie. I felt it. My death. I knew it was coming and I was ready for it. My lungs burned and my heart raced, the monitor beside me beeped quickly with it. I closed my eyes, struggling for my last breaths. When I opened my eyes, in front of me was Gus. Tears of happiness came to my eyes as I sat up. I knew he must have been a hallucination, or maybe I ghost, I wouldn't know.

"I'm sorry Hazel Grace." I stared at him, my smile never fading. He looked the same as when I'd last seen him, except he was healthy. He stood on two legs, no prosthetic leg.

"For what?"

"I wasn't supposed to leave you." He reached a hand out and came towards me, his whole body glowing. Whether this was real or not, I was happy. That's all I really wanted. To die happy.

"But you came back..you came back Augustus Waters." I smiled as tears ran down my face. He was the only person I'd ever cried happily for. Or maybe I wasn't happy, maybe the realization that death was approaching me to send me into everlasting darkness was making me cry. Nevertheless, I sobbed hysterically.

"Remember, okay is our always. Okay?" I finally leaned forward, taking his hand and staring into his eyes.

"Okay."


End file.
